The Future of this Blog

I haven’t written in awhile as some of you might have noticed. It’s hard to find times these days to write. Between work and taking care of my precious boy, I’m exhausted by the end of the day.

I’ve been trying to figure out if I want to keep this blog. I don’t feel like many people are reading it these days. If you are, thank you. But then I think about closing it down and it makes me sad. This has been my place to heal, my place to let go all of my emotions. It’s also been a place where I have met some amazing people.

I am still reading all of our blogs when I have a moment, though maybe not commenting as much as I would like.

I know I am at a different place than I was a year ago. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my two angels. I still think of them daily. There have been many nights where I’m rocking Liam to get him to sleep, and he looks to the piece of art above the rocking chair. The art, which is a symbol of my angels. It sends a shiver down my spine when he does it. My rainbow baby, looking at his angels watching over him. One day I will tell him what it represents. I know that Nathaniel and Grace would want that.

Some days I still get these mixed emotions. I miss them and wish they were here but know that if they weren’t in heaven, Liam wouldn’t be here. And I can’t imagine not having him in my life. It’s one of those thoughts that is so difficult to comprehend. The only way I am able to look at it is to be grateful for what I have; my two angels and my precious rainbow baby. I wasn’t able to choose the path and for that I need to accept.

For now I will keep this blog open and write when I feel needed. I will leave with two recent photos of Liam. He turned 3 months old on the 18th. It’s hard to believe he’s that old already.