Things have continued to progress smoothly with Peanut. Its hard to believe on Sunday I will be entering my third trimester. My belly is getting bigger and bigger. Peanut is moving more and more. My favorite part of this pregnancy is laying on the couch in the evening and watching him move around. Being able to feel him move as allowed me to connect with him on another leve. He is my miracle and I'm thankful for that daily.
As we all know October 15 is fast approaching. I've been finding myself thinking a lot about that day and reflecting on my life right now. My husband and I said we always wanted to have 3 children. Well we do have three children already: Nathaniel, Grace and Peanut. God has blessed us with three children, even if its not quite how we planned it. I am thankful for each one of them because I know that is more than some people will get in their lifetime.
I am thankful and appreciating Peanut on so many levels. I think a piece of it is thinking that maybe this will be my only pregnancy. Yes, it is going smoothly but its been a journey to get here. The thought of trying again scares the crap out of me. I don't know if I could go through another miscarriage. I don't know if I could go through that pain again. If we are only meant to have one healthy full term baby, I'm ok with that. Thats not what my husband and I have planned, but I will accept it. Life doesn't always turn out quite the way you accept.
I really don't know what the future holds. Its probably early to think about it but its been on my mind and I need to get it out in words. All I know right now is I can not be thankful enough for Peanut in our lives right now. He is my miracle baby and I hope he knows how much he is loved and wanted. Peanut is not here to replace Nathaniel and Grace. He is his own person and is one of our beloved children. We love them all differently. I thank God for giving us our three children, even though we weren't able to hold each one of them. No matter what, we love them and they will always be a part of our family.
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I'm just so glad you have your Peanut. And you are right, he is not your only child, but one of 3 children. I wish all 3 were with you now. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteYou will always love your babies regardless of how many living children you have. Congrats on the third trimester :)
ReplyDeleteMy hubby & I often talk about trying again. Now that Addy is here, we pray that God blesses her with some siblings but that fear will always be there. I am also very blessed to be a mommy of 3 & one day we will all be together!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling well & Happy 3rd Trimester!