Morning Meltdown

It’s always amazed me what simple things in life can trigger such emotions for me. I was eating my breakfast this morning while looking at the local paper like I do every morning. There was an article on a local musician with the first name Grace. I didn’t even read the article, just seeing the name sent the tears.

I haven’t cried in awhile so it was probably good to get it out. I think the fact that the holidays are here isn’t helping the situation. I thought to our Christmas last year where we were mourning our second lost child. I wasn’t in a good state of mind. How could I be happy when my two angels were in heaven instead of with me?

Yes, this year is very different. Peanut is only a few weeks or maybe days away from making his appearance. I feel so blessed to have him and know what a true miracle he is in my life. But the pain still haunts me. I can’t help but thinking of Nathaniel and Grace. I told Peanut this morning through all of this that I love him so much already and he doesn’t know how much he is loved and so wanted. He is our Christmas miracle.

I know the holidays can be a difficult time while we are mourning our angels. I wish you all some heavenly peace this Christmas. Something I think of that brings a smile to my face, is I can picture all of our angels in heaven playing together. They are watching over us as we continue our journeys.

I love you Nathaniel and Grace and hope you are at peace this Christmas.