I just got done opening gifts with my hubby. I'm not going to lie this Christmas just doesn't feel complete - because my angels aren't here with me. I was supposed to be about 35 weeks now with my first baby and almost 10 weeks with my last angel. How can you not think of what might have been? These babies were a part of our family and should be here today.
One thing that got me through this morning was seeing my dog open his gifts. Seeing his joy made it a little better. He is our child for now. Seeing him unwrap his gifts with his teeth put a smile on my face. I can only imagine what it will feel like to see my children open their gifts.
A dear friend of my husband and I is into making jewerly. Out of the goodness of her heart she made me a pendant that is a nest and has two eggs within the nest. The eggs are a representation of my two angels in my nest that will always be with me. I don't want to take the necklace off. It seems to be my only way of being close to my angels. At Christmas eve mass last night I kept thinking of them and wanted to cry. I held on to the pendant around my neck and felt at peace. Nathaniel and Grace are here with me. I thank my friend from the bottom of my heart for making me this necklace. It already is helping me get through this holiday.
I hope all your bloggers out there are getting through this season the best you can without your angels as well. I know we will see them in the next life but for now I can't help but want them with me.
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