Even through all the emotional and physical pain I have endured after having two miscarriages, I would do it all over again. My angels were worth it and then some. I would have given anything to have them alive on earth, but I know at least having them in my life for a moment is something I should cherish. I had a bond with them that no one else could have had. And for that I’m grateful. Their presence in my life has made me a mother. Their presence in my life has changed me forever. They have instilled in me the value and fragileness of life. They have shown me how strong a mother’s love can be. They will forever have a mark of my life.
As I embark on the next chapter in my life of discovering what has caused my miscarriages and how we can fix it, I know my angels are watching over me and giving me strength. Their strength will get me through the tough times so that one day soon we can be parents again.
I believe angels can show their presence in various ways. The past few days I have randomly looked up at the sky to see a bird not flying, but soaring. Their wings were spread out as they glided through the air. When I watched them I saw peacefulness, freedom, happiness, and contentment. I immediately thought of my angels. Maybe this was their way of telling me they were ok. Maybe what I saw in the birds represented exactly what my angels are feeling in heaven now.
I know they are safe in heaven. And I know one day I will meet them again when my time on this earth is over with.
I love you Nathaniel and Grace. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and all you have given me in your short time here. You were a gift from above and for that I’m grateful. I am so proud to have been your mother.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi Amy, thanks so much for commenting on my blog and wishing me a happy birthday. I've just started following your blog today. I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm glad to see you are using your blog as a safe place to share your feelings. I like your post today, I really related to what you wrote. Although it was very painful to lose my angels, I would not chance a thing. Like yourself, I've learned so much about myself and the true meaning of being a mother. I wish you all the best in your search for answers. I look forward to following along in your journey and am happy you are following mine :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason - I have to believe that in my 3 losses they were meant to provide me with more determination and hope that yes indeed I was fortunate enough to be able to get pregnant. Please keep your positive outlook during this whole journey - there will be tough times but it will be all worth it once you see that BFP again. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd do it all over again, too! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad things are looking up with your job. I hope you get that raise! Good luck with your ultrasound today!