I’ve always been a big fan of “signs”. By signs I mean doing your everyday routine and having something out of the ordinary happen that might resemble something else in your life. During the two week wait I’ve been looking for signs that I might possibly be pregnant. I might read too much into them but I can’t help it.
Last night my hubby and I were making dinner. I was making my favorite veggie dish of green beans and red peppers. As I’m cutting the red pepper what do I see but a little baby pepper inside. It sent a shiver down my spine. I was able to pull the baby pepper out with ease, as if it was fully developed and able to survive on its own.
I’ve seen little baby peppers inside before and not thought much of it. I have never had a problem throwing them away. Last night was different; I couldn’t throw it away. I felt I had to save it for some reason. It wasn’t just a little baby pepper but to me it resembled my hopes of what may come. It resembled a possible little person inside of me that would be able to fully develop and make its way into this world.
After having a miscarriage, I have clinged on to anything for hope. This little baby pepper right now is my hope, that just as it had developed, my future child will be able to do the same.
For now the little pepper is sitting on our kitchen counter. I’m not ready to throw it away yet. Maybe next week, after we find out if we were successful or not this month. For now I will put it in a little baggie and hold it close to my heart for the next few days. To most it’s just a little pepper, to me it shows me the potential possibilities and dreams to come.
I think my husband thought I was crazy – maybe after reading this he will better understand.
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