At a Loss

I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t know my body anymore. I’ve always known what was going on and could easily predict what was going on as my body was clockwork. Right now I’m at a loss with my body. I thought my period was supposed to come but now I feel like I’m ovulating. What the hell? Maybe those 4 days of very light brown spotting was my period? But it was supposed to be heavy.

I’m scared because my hubby and I are headed out on vacation starting Feb 9. I wanted to be period free and not have to worry about my body. I’m getting freaked out that that is not going to be the case. I wanted to be able to get all these tests done so I could just go and relax. I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what is going on. I know the stress probably isn’t helping the situation.

I’ve been doing some reading online and some women it takes 14 days to get their period after stopping progesterone. 14 days will be Wednesday. I’m just at a loss right now. I feel if I call my doctor she won’t be able to help and that she will tell me to just let nature take its course right now. Well I’ve had it up to here with nature.

The biggest stress right now for me is I can’t walk away from the situation. Every time I go to the bathroom I look for blood. Every cramp I have I wonder if my period is here. My body is failing me yet again. Its bad enough it took my two precious angels and now this?
I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.