Vitamins

I’ve always been big on taking vitamins. I’ve been taking them for most of my adult life. When we knew we were going to start trying for a family, I started taking prenatal vitamins months before to ensure they were in my system. I’ve been very consistent and barely skipping a day, but that changed when we lost Grace.

Ever since losing Grace a month ago, I haven’t been taking my vitamins. Maybe it’s because I feel like it’s not worth it anymore. That there is no baby in there. Maybe it’s because I’m angry at my body for failing me not once but twice. That my body doesn’t deserve the vitamins. I’ve just been feeling like it’s pointless right now. There is no need.

I don’t know what the future holds for us. I don’t know when we can start trying again. I barely even know when my period is going to come. I know I should get back on the bandwagon and start taking my vitamins again. Maybe this is something I can control right because I feel like everything else is out of my control and that scares me.

I guess a pact to me right now is when my period comes, then I start the vitamins again. There you go body – if you want your vitamins than give me what I want in return.