Its hard to believe that I am turning 30 years old today. Where does the time go? I have always hated having a winter birthday and today is just a reminder. My hubby and I woke up to over 2 feets of snow. Not what I want to see on my birthday morning. So on my birthday I had to dig my car out of the snow. Of course this is keeping us from doing much. I'm dying to go downtown to shop but the roads are messy. Happy Birthday to you too. Its frustrating and just seems like my luck these days.
I have time today to be thinking of how I thought my birthday would be. I would have been 8 months pregnant with Nathaniel. I remember telling everyone that I was going to be very pregnant on my birthday. I remember making it seem negative. I wish I could take that back because I would give anything to be pregnant right now. After we lost Nathaniel, I would have been about 11 weeks pregnant with Grace. What a special birthday gift that was going to be. Instead my belly is empty on my 30th. I can't help but on big occasions like this think of my angels and what might have been. I always pictured being pregnant or being a mother by the time I turned 30. I guess that isn't the case. By 31 maybe?
One good thing today is that I received my husbands gift: a 5 day trip to Disney World in February. I am beyond excited and only wish we could leave today. I haven't been there in 9 years (last time I was a cast member) so am looking forward to going back and checking out my old stomping ground. How great it is going to feel to get away from everything and maybe not think about things for awhile. We actually leave for the trip a day after Nathaniel was supposed to be due. I think the trip couldn't have come at a better time in hopes of getting me through that difficult time.
Heres to hoping the roads clear up so I can at least go out and enjoy a nice birthday dinner with my hubby.
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