Irritated

I took the morning off from work. I took 2 Tylenol PM last night. It took forever to work. Of course I didn’t sleep through the night but it was better than other nights. Got up with my hubby to see him off to work and walk the dog and then slept on the couch for another two hours. I really needed it. I just don’t relax enough – even this morning I had to clean the stove and do two loads of laundry. My husband always said that I don’t relax enough.

I went on Facebook today and am really irritated by one of my friend’s comments. I so want to say something but don’t want her to know about my miscarriage. So I have to say it on here instead so people that understand will read it. Her status “Dear Pregnancy, please stop making my boobs grow and making me an emotional wreck.” This irritates beyond belief. Does she not know what a miracle it is to be pregnant and what a wonderful and beautiful thing it is? It just makes me so mad that people out there like that get pregnant and don’t appreciated it. And then there is myself along with all of you ladies out there that would do anything to be pregnant and we would appreciate it. Why does the world work this way? I would give anything to have my boobs grow and be emotional. To know it was the effect of a little person growing inside of me would be an amazing feeling. I would cherish every moment of it. But instead I can’t right now. Instead my friend is pregnant and not appreciating it for all its glory. How maddening it is and how much it makes me hurt.

Still no period – I’m on day 8 now. I promised my husband if nothing by Monday (Day 12) I will call my doctor. I just want it to come. I don’t understand why that is so much to ask for after all the shit I have been through these past few months.

And so the frustration continues….